We Solemnly Swear We Are Up To No Good!

It was a pack of cards and a 1.5 L. coke bottle which made me talk to her. I recall sitting on the ledge at OSM ‘bored out of my wits’; smirking at the kids around, when I happened to see the contents in her hands. No it wasn’t lowv at first sight...I was more interested to know if she could drink that whole thing by herself and if she would share!?

“Ma Kasam!” as they say…I had no clue whatsoever as to what I was in for and I have been living with the consequences ever since!

We are not Friends and neither are we Foes! Ours is what you call a “Belligerent Attachment”
We are a pair of recalcitrant, abusive, antagonistic, irrational, strong-willed individuals. We don’t share anything. Not our likes, dislikes, favorite food on the menu, cricketing teams, sport-persons, political views, movies, music… Not even the brand of cigarette! She is ‘Amoral’. I am ‘Immoral’. She is ‘Indifferent’. I am ‘Careless’. She is ‘Combative’. I am ‘Opinionated’.

We quibble more oft than we talk. I pine for her when she’s not around & curse her Down-under when she is! The longest we have ever gone without bickering is probably 15mins. We seldom let go of an opportunity to argue (Thank God! Its mostly verbal) I have used and abused every swear word in my vocabulary on her & have learnt quite a few in reciprocation. I have developed a habit of grinding my teeth together (regularly), out of exasperation. She has refined the knack of dozing off to avoid facing me. The non de plumes with which we anoint each other has probably obliterated our christened names from our lives. We do not greet each other politely or amiably like ‘normal’ friends do. We shout/cuss/abuse/snarl and give each other ‘Bear Hugs’. I call her the “Brain” behind my ‘Brawn”. She dubs me as her ‘Domestic’

The only time we join forces is when we gang up on clueless rickshaw-wallahs or oblivious fellows around us, when we need to poke fun at someone else or plain gossip& bitch. When one sees our heads together sitting calmly, we are surely contriving our next ploy/victim.

What do we live for, if it is not to make life more difficult for each other?
It speaks volumes of my fortitude that I am still around her. But on reconsideration I would not rather be elsewhere. It might not be a peaceful co-existence, but we share a perverse pleasure/privilege in plaguing each other. Not many understand us...we seldom do ourselves. And given a choice we’d be TOGETHER wreckin' HELL!!


Happy Birthday GUMMY( aka NUPUR SINGH)!